Awaken the Child

Where should I start? I guess it started for me a the age of five. I began to notice things I don't any five year old kid should have notice. It was at this age I manage to learn about being an adult long before I got here. My eyes began there search for truth one summer night when the man in the house told me he was not my father. That is a hard thing to hear at that age. My mother who was there at the time hit him and told him not to tell me things like that. Little did I know, those simple acts would start a chain reaction of events which would change me forever. There were times when my mother own sisters and brothers would make reference to the same thing. They would things like, "I don't know why she say he is not your daddy when you look just like him". After hearing those words, I would go to her each time to ask her and her response would be, " boy you know that is your daddy".  Her words never really settled me. It just seemed as though she was tricking me into believing what she needed me to think.
I was one of the kids who was raise by the television. I would watch lots of Sesame street and Electric company. I watched just about anything you could find on public access television. I guess my mother was shocked because I was learning without the aid of her or a teacher. She would began showing me off by asking me about things I learned when people would say how big I have grown. Little did she know I had and goal in mind. I figure I was not smart enough to pick up on the truth that she was hiding from me.
I know you thinking how is it a young boy at that age could even be thinking about such things. It was because of how often the mixed messages came at me. On the one hand there is your mother telling you a man is your daddy and on the hand you have family members say it has told them the opposite, this would make you start to wondering too. I observed everything watching for signs. Signs which would tell me the truth of is he my father or not.
I began to notice the way he would treat my younger sister over me. She could do no wrong in his eyes. If anything happen I got the blame for it. I was treated harsher then she. Now I know you could have attribute this to the fact that she was a girl and I was a boy as for the reason. Yet as time went on so did the abuse and so did the unfair treatment. At the age of 15, I was coming home one night when I notice that a cat was poise on my back porch. It was a stray cat looking for a meal. It lunge toward the outer edge of the trash can  and knock it over. I laugh at it but my laughter quickly change. I know if the trash was found the next day knocked over I would get a beating I did not want. I ran the cat away and began cleaning up the mess left behind. Once I was done I went into the house and grab some bleach and pour it over the trash. The man of the house was sure that the bleach would deter the animals from knocking the trash over. I on the other hand thought how stupid and wasteful it was. I reasoned that if they were using dogs to find drugs then a dog would know what food was good to eat. It did not make a matter the next morning it was found knocked over. I was woke up with my daddy enraged over the fact the trash was knocked over. The must have returned and knock it over again even after doing what he had said to do. I guess I was right. It was five in the morning. I was barely awake and trying to get dressed to go take care of the mess. He was screaming as though this trash was the end of the world. He began make himself madder and madder. He came up to me and swung to hit me. I had paid for karate classes during the summer; so it was on reaction that I block the slap which was coming. He ran to the living room and got his gun from underneath the couch cushion. He first ran up and place it up to my face and began to threaten me. I know the question on you mind. Where was your mother? She was there. She never said anything about the gun being pointed at me at all. He let me up the go get the trash up from the yard. Once I got to the porch I jump off. I felt a slight bump on my head as I started to drop to the ground. I heard my mother yelling, " don't hit boy with that gun'.
TO BE CONTINUED...........